When I walk on the treadmill, I always plug my headphones in so I can watch TV while I'm walking. It makes the time go by much faster.
So a few weeks ago, I'm walking when a commercial break comes on and the most amazing tune starts playing. With a tad bit of research I found out that it was Dinah Washington singing, Relax Max.
I didn't want the song to end! I was walking and swaying and shaking my booty! I hope the others that were close enough to see me, were tuned into the same channel!
I searched You Tube for the full version but could only find the commercial. The commercial is for Double Tree, a branch of Hyatt Hotels. I have the full version downloaded on my PC from Rhapsody. Lexy and I boogied around the livingroom to it yesterday... and "Hips Don't Lie" and "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" <---(you should hear Lexy say that!) >
My taste in music is a little eclectic. Betcha never would have guessed, eh?
Here's the You Tube...Enjoy :)
STAY COOL FOOL,
THAT'S THE RULE FOOL..
AN OPEN LETTER TO MR. JAMES THATCHER, BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE
I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."
Are you kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James?
FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending BS. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
I just got home from the gym. I found a new piece of equipment called a stretch trainer (I think?) anyway, it's just this awesome little piece of equipment that you use to stretch your back, legs, shoulders, arms, etc.. and it was WONDERFUL! OMGosh, it felt so good. I've been seeing a physical therapist and massage therapist for months now because I'm so spastic from MS and then throw in the ruptured disc and YEOW! I can't believe that little miracle machine has been sitting there all this time and I'd never taken advantage of it before today! Woo Hoo, I'm loose as a goose. I want one of those little babys for my house!
I also RAN on the treadmill...you read it right, I RAN! I haven't RUN in probably 2 years, now mind you, I didn't run long but, who cares, I RAN!! I have such a rush right now I could jump over the moon! I worked out for an hour and half, which is the longest since I've been going back to the gym. I really hope I can treat my back myself with excercise. I've shoveled out truck loads of money on doctors, PT, etc...and I don't see a lot of improvment. Although I would really miss Ann and Sara, my peeps :) They are a delight to work with and really take such good care of me. I have entirely too much fun with them! HA!
Well, I guess tonight I get to shop for a 3 year old's birthday party...go me! I love buying toys. It's for our Great Nephew, Andrew. He's a living doll. A red haired little tyke, I just love him. We'll pick up Lexy and Kaden tomorrow so they can go to the party too. We haven't seen them in a few weeks, so Mimi is needing a fix! Hubby will be glad to see them too.
Sunday I think we're taking a road trip to a wonderful little restaurant in KY. It will be a 4 hour round trip but, I think it sounds like fun. The weather is supposed to be warm and my BIL & SIL will be with us, so it will be worth the long drive.
I better get hoppin' my house is a mess and hubby will be home in 45 mins. I have to make it look like I've slaved all day.
One day last week, while I was in the grocery store, someone hit my car and didn't bother to leave me a note. What was left was a hole in my bumper and a huge dent in my fender, not to mention a scrape down the entire passenger's side of my car.
I took my car in for an estimate yesterday. It was nearly $6000! No wonder insurance is so expensive! One bump or bang and you're talking big bucks! On top of that, I'll have a rental car for a week that the insurance is responsible for as well.
For $6000, I hope they vacum it , shampoo the carpets and seats and leave it smelling minty fresh.
I can't get in until the end of March, geez-a-lou. n the meantime I'm driving the clunk mobile. It's developed some kind of odd vibration that my husband says has something to do with the exhaust? Well, if you know what it is, would PLEASE put down that stupid airplane and fix it? grrrr! Oh and hubby bought another boat. I'm telling you, that man has more toys than anyone should have! It really irks me! I don't have toys, I want toys too! And please don't pull the ring card on me, I earned that ring, with my blood sweat and tears!
My Dad was always on top of everything in the house, the vehicles, etc...he kept everything in good working order. My husband keeps his things shiney and new but, I can't get him to do anything else and it's really starting to piss me off. Who am I kidding, it's not starting, I'm downright mad about it! I've been begging him to refinish the floors in the dining room and living room for a few years now. NO GO! My Mom told me to tell him he has two choices, either he does it or I hire it done. You see though, nobody can do it to his satisfaction, so he insists that he do it! In the meantime,...oh to hell with it.
I'm honestly not one of those petty complaining wives but, I've had it! Maybe I should stop washing his clothes, cooking his meals... think he'd get the picture then? I doubt it.
It's not just the floors either, it's nearly anything and everything that doesn't involve his precious toys! I don't know how to get through to him and it's really causing big riff in our marriage If I didn't love him so much, I'd tell him to go to hell with his planes and boats, but where the heck would I go anyway? I guess I might as well stay here with a man who is at least kind to me and I guess loves me as best he can. He's just too self centered to understand that *HIS* toys shouldn't be on the top of his list. I've been with him for nearly 20 years, who am I kidding? I'm not going anywhere and that scares me too.
Hmmm, even I'm surprise at the turn this post took.
3/22, I think I actually did well yesterday, sans the gym. I never made it. No junk food though!
Thank Goodness! I like how that works out. I've totally been replacing cigarettes with food and it makes me feel terrible. I hate it! I'm most comfortable in my skin when I weigh 100-105 lbs. I weighed the other day and I weighed 112! Those extra pounds have got to come off.
So today I vow to eat healthy, all day! I'm not tempted to start smoking again in the name of weight loss but, I definetely have to do something. I've gained those 7 lbs in just over 2 months. If I keep going, at that rate, everyone can just call me roly poly.
I usually follow a modified Swank diet. The swank diet is a diet that was designed for people with MS. Basically it's a low fat diet, that's all. Nothing too fancy. I have never followed it to the letter because, well, I like chocolate too much for that! If you google Swank diet, you'll see what I'm talking about, it's very strict.
Another problem is, my husband can eat like a mad man and because he's so active it doesn't effect him like it does me. I don't gain weight too easily but, I'm just not nearly as active as he is. So, he wants garlic bread with dinner, he wants to order pizza, blah blah blah...I've had no restraint lately. :(
So back on topic, I'm going back on my low fat diet today and to the gym. I'm writing it here so I will be accountable! Maybe that will help me lose the weight and I'll be ready for summer, my favorite time of the year!
Today looks promising, Sunny and in the 70's!! Can I get a Woo Hoo!
I woke at about 7 AM and got up and did a bathroom run and then came back to bed. I sort of tossed and turned a bit and then decided to watch TV. Within minutes I was sleepy again and could hardly hold my eyes open. I muted the TV, snuggled up with my pillows and blankets and was soon fast asleep, only to be awakened by a popping that sounded exactly like my computer chair when someone sits on it. The first one brought me out of my deep sleep and the second one startled me. I laid there wondering if someone was home, when I thought I was alone. I kept listening but, heard nothing.
The next thing I knew I was being shaken awake! I thought I needed to get up and go to the gym! I even had very quick thoughts about washing my face, brushing my teeth and putting my hair in a ponytail, so I could quickly leave. I thought I was up but, soon realized I was still in bed. I was shaken again (is shaken a word? oh yeah, martini...nevermind) this went on and on for a while. I seriously thought and felt as though I was being shook! Still, to this moment, an hour and forty minutes later, I think something was waking me up. I felt like there was a purpose to my being awake and going to the gym wasn't it but, nothing important has happened?
(Crud, my train of thought was just broken by a phonecall) Anyway, it was so real and so weird..almost unsettling, although I didn't feel threatened in the least. It had to be a dream but, I swear to you, something shook me, not just once but several times.
I've had several folks tmail me and ask how I'm doing and the answer to that is, I'm well :) I've been trying to hit the gym at least 3 times a week and walk on the treadmill. That, if nothing else, makes feel that I'm at least contributing to my overall good health. Friday I had the bright idea of using some of the weight machines....hahahahahahahahaha, the joke's on me! I'm so sore I can barely pull my shirt over my head! OUCH, I am so out of shape!
Last night hubby and I met another couple for dinner and drinks at a local hot spot. The green beer was flowing. (I had diet coke) Not to mention the IU game was on and this particular place is a sports bar. Can you say loud and crowded? I enjoyed it :) I love rush of the crowd vibe sometimes. It just feels good to be a part of things! I wore my KISS ME I'M IRISH tee. I was feeling quite festive.
Well, both my girls are getting married. One in September and one in October. The youngest is having a very small service with just she and her groom and then they are off for a week in NYC! Congrats and best wishes to them :)
My oldest has decided to invite everyone she has ever known to both her wedding and reception. We'll see how long Mama's money holds out. I hope she and her STB husband will live a long and happy life together.
So, I'm in wedding & shower mode. I'm making lists, looking at flowers, cakes, dresses, etc. online. I have to admit, it's fun. The first shower will be in May for our youngest, since she lives out of state and that's when I know for sure she'll be home with her fiance and a car. (to haul home the loot) :)
I've completely changed my routine. I hardly ever even touch my computer these days. Since I've quit smoking, I try not to sit idle for long, unless I'm in bed. Otherwise I think about smoking. I've even been dreaming about smoking! It's been well over 2 months since I've smoked and I still want one :( I won't smoke but, DAMN, does a cig sound good!!!!
I'm alive and well. Thanks to everyone who cares *wink*
I forget where I originally heard that phrase but, it fits well. The blasted fatigue monster is looming over my head like a dark cloud. I actually think fatigue is inaccurate. Fatigue means to me, "I'm tired" What I feel like sometimes is, I'm walking uphill, in thick, neck deep mud, after being shot with an elephant traquilizer. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.
It seems the "birthday season" is upon my family. Just this week, we have 3 birthday parties to attend. The first was this past Friday evening, for my Aunt who turned 50. I have to say she doesn't look a day over 40. Another Aunt, my Mom and I went a few hours early and decorated and the place was beautiful, if I do say so myself. I love doing that sort of thing. I was talking to my Mom and Aunt about it and we all agreed that we'd love to do that for a living. I actually worked for a short time for a business called, Occasions by J&B and that's what we did, we coordinated the event. I honestly would love it if I could find an adult education course somewhere near here for that. oops, I got off track there.
Today is another surprise party for a different Aunt who is 70! I'm betting this is the first birthday party she's ever had. She's such a sweet, sweet lady. I so hope she enjoys herself. Then Thursday is my Mother's 60th birthday. I think it's really bothering her turning 60. She's made a few remarks about it. Again, she looks very young for her age, very young! Her skin is great, she has less lines on her face than I do!
And so, from now until December, we have at least 1 birthday in our immediate family (meaning our kids and parents) January is the only month that we don't have an occasion that remotely resembles something celebratory, except New Year's of course :)
BTW, Hubby and I saw Wild Hogs last night. I thought it was hilarious! It's not a mind bender, just good, fun comedy. Watching John Travolta ride a Harley is a nice bonus ;) Mmmmm
Next installment, "Two Daughters planning on getting married"......arrghhh! No! Not my babies :(
The Best Church Bulletin Bloopers Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals.
" The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. & nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; & nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp;
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" oto someone who doesn't care much about you.
Don't let worry kill you off let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children, and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 P.M. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 P.M. prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 P.M. there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge, Up Yours."
When I walk on the treadmill, I always plug my headphones in so I can watch TV while I'm walking. It makes the time go by much faster.
No wonder insurance is so expensive! One bump or bang and you're talking big bucks! On top of that, I'll have a rental car for a week that the insurance is responsible for as well. 
